:)

:)
smile is the best and yet free medicine :)

Thursday 4 October 2012

i think you guys should know. o0o

To some idiots out there :


I can't start a passage nicely sometimes,
I got the points to write but just
I don't know what to write as the opening title.
One of my friend always wonder why the hell
I hate boys so damn much.
Finally I remember the reason why I hate them so damn much,
some of them, I even planned to kill them. But just plan, and of course i did not take any single action. =.=
I used to be a normal kid, normal girl as others.
I wore dresses, I tied pony tails, I dreamed , fantasized about the future.
But then, nightmares came.

I hate boys because of their infinite stupidity,
endless ignorance and uncountable childish acts.
I've been bullied by boys since form one when i was thirteen years old.
Verbally, emotionally and mentally abused and experienced all kind of harassment.
They made thousands kinds of jokes on me,
laughed at me like I'm the clown in the circus,
Bully me and even boycott me. As a new student that transferred from other school,
I got no friends at all at that time. They didn't get to know me,
and they just judged me using their prawn-size brain and the worst is,
some of those idiots just spread their "professional" comments on me around the school.
Then, the people that don't know me think that I'm that "terrifying and horrible" girl.
They gave me thousands of nicknames, made those " uncivilized " jokes and even
look down on me. They were so proud of themselves and think that
I'm a tiny little small potato, a person that let them to make jokes with and humiliate without any limit.










If you were me, what will you do ?
I bet you will cry and run out of that classroom and rush out to the school, right ?
But, I managed to stay in that school for 5 years.
Faced those beasts, sluts and bitches,and succeed to restrain
myself from bursting and tolerate with them.
I avoid, I pretend to be deaf and blind, I built walls around myself.
In the nutshell, I hate all of them.
YOU WON'T KNOW HOW I MANAGED TO OVERCOME THESE SHIT
YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO KNOW ALSO, HOW COLD-HEART AND EVIL AM I.
I smile at you, that doesn't mean I like you. Probably I'm cursing you and thinking
what categories should you be put in. Idiots ? Mongrels ? Beasts ? Tapeworms ?
or reproductive organ of  the mongrels. If you know what I mean.


Let me tell you, what reasons lead me to this kind of fucking damn situation.
Physical appearance is the main reason.
I'm not beautiful. I'm not slim. I'm not pretty and decent.
I'm not girlish and the most important is I'M NOT AS MAINSTREAM AS OTHER.
I'm abnormal. I don't do the things that a normal girl will do.
Self-abased. Low self-esteem.
I don't believe in people, I don't love people, I mean human being, homo sapiens.
I'm an alien. I always think that why the hell I even exist in this damn cruel world.
You will never know how much of tears behind every smile I've present to you today.
Until that day, a rainy day, finally I left that school that full of dumb ass and whores.
I re-pick myself. I was like released from the jail. Reincarnation.

Unfortunately, this kind of sick scenes re-appear again in my form 6 life.
I don't want to mention their ugly names here.
But I really want to shout out that :
Hey, you dumbos. If you think humiliating and harassing me will make
you feel better, then I'm going to tell you, you are just one of those
ordinary brainless guys out there and yet you are a pitiful naive bug that only
stuck yourself in a tiny little box of world that you think that's already your
whole world. Frog under a well. Yea. Best description.

I don't and I won't change myself to impress you and make you
all think that I'm normal. God created me this way, and i feel
completely comfortable and awesome with myself.
I won't lost my own identities like what you guys did,cause you guys lost it.
You gang of ignorance dog dick think that change yourselves into
some kind of people will impress and satisfy the person you want to
impress of, but somehow you never know you guys are such a dumbo
and brainless creature. Even the jelly fish is smarter than you.

Yes. I'm ugly. So, is my ugliness bothered you ?
Yes. I'm fat, plump, short, and all other
bad adjective words you can think of.
So what ? Does any adjective words mentioned up there disturbed
your fucking idiot money wasting life ? Mirror your damn retard face
and make sure you are perfect before you judge me with your freaking small
size useless brain. Since you still have some intelligence, why don't you just
use them in a right way, like think of how eyesore you are instead
of open your stinky mouth and humiliating me.


Yes.
Of course you can talk about me.
But there is a limit.
Even when i get into a relationship or even a normal friendship, there's still a value of humiliation on me.
WHAT THE FUCK wrong with you guys ? Do i need to get you shit guy's approval and agreements
before I fall in love with some human being or be friends with them ? Come on.
Yes.
For you guys, these kind of mongrels, physical appearance is the first priority right ?
Fuck you all. 
But i believe that person that deserve my love is someone can figure out
and dig out my inner beauty and appreciate everything I've hidden inside my
wall and behind those fake smiles. And i believe also, the person that
deserve to be my friends and share everything with me is someone that
know me, the positive side of me.
Honestly, the dark side, the horrible side of me will only
activate i have to encounter the dick head like you guys.


I'm not a mainstream like catalyst, the girl you all bastards adore.
So sad to tell you, you these blinded idiots that are just looking for physical appearance,
you guys are fool and fooled by her and her kinds of bitch.
Trust the fake and ignore the truth.
I shall wait and see the dramas.

TRUST NO BASTARDS.
Think before you speak.
Put yourself in other's shoes.

I'm immune to these kind of harassment,
innuendos,taunts and bullying...
Even the person i used to love and the person i used to
attach to and cling to.
They suddenly have became the attackers.
well, I think I have to hide myself from this damn world.
To the true friends of mine, I appreciate that you entered and beautified my life.
Thank you very much.
To those stinky-mouth, prawn-size brain mongrels,
I won't waste my time to hate and angry with you, it will only kills my precious brain cells.

Just i believe, karma will find you and give you a big big punch on your
damn face that only you and your mom thinks that's fine looking.
Even you dog is sick of your damn face.









stop verbal abusing, it;s killing the victim.
















THE END

Sunday 16 September 2012

lose weight project in processing. :)

hehe.
gam fei, minus fat, lose weight....
cincai apa la...
sick of being 'verbally abused' by my family.. my brother and dad especially..
both of them keep calling me fatty bum bum... uuurrrrggghhh...
Nah, i started my lose weight project A since last week, inspired
by a photographer during a simple photo shooting session.

That day, i went for a photo shooting because i'm the
bride's maid for my friend's cousin.
Wearing the bride's maid gown, doing hair up....
no need to make up, cause i'm only 'keh leh fair', just stand beside and smile.
OH NO... i look fat. Fat like a pig.
Shit, then i keep murmuring aside, and the photographer keep asking me to
SMILE, SMILE, BE CONFIDENCE, SMILE.
ain't he suppose to focus on the bride ? He said, i am ruining the whole photo.
please cooperate..... oh please, i fat like a pig, and u want to smile..? =(

Then during the break time, he came and talk to me.
He said, girl, no need to be upset. You are not ugly although not that pretty.
haha, he is a straight person, i like him.
Then he said again, the weak point of mine is not fat, but plump, not slim enough.
i look clumsy because i'm not confidence enough.

Yor.... then he asked me to exercise more, try to hold myself from the
temptations of snacks, junk food. No sweet food, no noodles, instant mee...
drink more waters and SLEEP EARLY.
if i am not that plump, i can be very photogenic, he told me.
MUAHAHAHA. i happy until max. when i heard this. HAHAHAHA

Thanks for his advises and inspirations. Because he used to be a fat boy.
sadly, the picture captured that day has copy right, so i can't take it out.
My lose weight project begins. Wait and see the result :)

i know i am fat :)
please wait, i will be slim in one day.
my lose weight project will succeed in one day :)
YOU SHALL WAIT.
























Monday 20 August 2012

My dad asked me to lose weight. LOL

Hahahahaha. Let me finish laughing first, HAHAHAHAHA.
that day, yesterday i think, uhm, my dad was doing some housework in the dry kitchen.
He yelled at me and  requested me to do his job for him..
and i was... uhm doing my own thing if not mistaken..
So i was forced to remove my butt from the chair and heading to the kitchen.....
i was hopping and jumping around, like a psycho... LOL..
then i saw the door was half-closed and a tiny little slit there...
and i thought i could pass through that slit...
and BANG... my right butt get hit by the door and my left butt hit my father's face
as he was bending down his head to mop the floor.
MUAHAHAHAH. Both of us laughed like hell.....

and he started teasing me ... keep asking me to lose weight.
if not, nobody will marry me, and he has to 'feed' me until don't know when..
Hey, dad.. i'm trying to keep fit here. But those food, even a bread can be so tempting
when i'm trying to on diet. LOL.
every time when i open the fridge, and he will starts to call me 'fatty'... =.=|||... this is my dad...
oh my gosh..... food... stay away from me... HAHAHA... imposibruuuu... :)


okay, back to normal.
my dad is a wise man although he always teases me... =.=
he asked me start learning German language for preparation to study abroad in Germany next year. :)
Wow, it seems like he is serious this time. German..? oh, football..? gymnastic handsome boy..??
German hotdog...??? LOL. i know nothing about Germany ... Study abroad..??

My dad said i'm sucks in studies. Oh, this one i admit. Haha. maths especially... it's so torturing...
And chemistry.. oh no.. worst than maths. It's like some Alien language for me although they are just
the combination of alphabets and numbers..adding some ugly symbols.. HA...

So, he asked me to focus on my piano. get the diploma here and ‘roll' to Germany to study music.
Of course, i gotta try my best not to fail my STPM. :)
Yeah, seems like, my path is now fixed, well-planned.

But, study abroad in Germany, are you kidding me...?
that wouldn't be easy.....
but challenge accepted. Cause i don't wanna stuck in Ipoh and M'sia anymore.
i need to expose myself to the bigger and more colorful world. :)

hehehe. now get back and redo my maths.
and study Chemistry....T.T....

i might not have a beautiful face, but definitely i own a beautiful life.
with great friends, lovely family members and cute pets.
Thanks God :)




















Sunday 20 November 2011

在搞什么鬼....?














最近生活很乱.
身份证不见....报生纸不见...
衣服不见... 脑袋也不见...
他妈的,我家有鬼吗....??


记忆力衰退已经达到
超严重,濒临死亡状态.
可是却死不掉...

最近帮姑姑搞个话剧...
当起导演来....
很威么...???
有够他妈的难。
超级难....因为我超级懒...


也不是的...我智力有限...
艺术细胞不发达...
我尝试了很多次...都...不堪入目...
搞笑搞怪的话剧没问题...
老娘招架得住。
可是那个难度超高的话剧
简直是要了我的命... :(


我很想哭...很想像那些白痴小孩子
那样坐在地上就哭...两行眼泪流完就算..
但是,我不能啊...我是成年人.
他妈的....
我是成年人


-拨了通电话给我男朋友...
他没接. 我预料中的事。

-再拨了通电话给佩茵...
她驾着车,都冒着随时会出车祸的风险
跟我聊了几句.

发现....男朋友算什么...
狗屎一坨。
他妈的...
如果我被外星人绑架....
那么不幸运...拨了通电话向你求救..
那,我肯定死x999


热恋期结束.
我明白.
我不想开口...
坏人你来当吧。

我不会怪你的 :)


Tuesday 5 April 2011

我抵死..! 姓韓的妖怪..!



4月了..! 生日就来了.
18岁了啦。唉...怎么还是这个衰样的...
姓韩的妖怪..! 韩絮飞...!!
你身体里面的懒根就不能一次过给拔掉吗..?
见过鬼还不怕黑的喔.. 你以为你次次都那么好才的咩...?


你父母啊...每个月花差不多RM1300在你
身上啊..! 让你学对你百利而无一弊的才艺班..
什么钢琴班,小提琴班,芭蕾舞班..统统让你学完..
而你叻...姓韩的..
不但没有用心去学..还要为自己的慵懒
找借口..你啊...姓韩的妖怪..你真的没药救!!



每次都是这样的..! 见过鬼还不会怕黑..
5月4日芭蕾舞考试..现在还是一窍不通..
我看你怎样进去考试..! 姓韩的妖怪..!
真的是服了你..! 总以为自己很聪明哦..我呸!
你就是太高估你自己..你明知芭蕾是看实力的,
不是取巧的..你一跳,考官就知道你的实力在哪..
你以为你瞒得过她咩..? 姓韩的妖怪..
你对得起teacher 吗..? 对得起你父母吗..?
如果连累了那个partner怎办..?
你又赔得起吗..? 都不明白... 你怎么可以酱懒的..! 怒 !



肥不减..体重不控制..
鞋子不见了找不回..
TMD...韩絮飞。此刻,你真的可以去死掉算了。
琴不练,小提琴不拉,舞不跳..
就只顾吃吃吃... 玩玩玩...睡睡睡...
工不做,书不读..(虽然还没开学)
简直和头猪没啥分别... 还是死掉算了吧你..



骂归骂...总不能死掉的..
知道自己错就要改..要将功补过..!
姓韩的妖怪! 听着~
别人之前在努力的时候..你就逍遥~
现在临考试别人也没得逍遥..你看..!
几不公平..! 所以,你要比别人付出
更多倍的努力..! 这些事是你应该做的..!
别人练2天,你给我练足5天..!
别人跳2轮,你给我跳4轮...
脚趾头磨损就贴胶布..!
脚趾甲蹦掉就剪..!
跳到跛掉也抵你死..!
pass 是务必的..!
distiction 是奖励..!
你fail 了就去跳楼,我严重警告你..!



姓韩的妖怪。这世上没有多少人
能像你这样..学那么多东西。
请你好好珍惜。 不要白费你父母
辛辛苦苦赚回来的血汗钱。
不要辜负teacher 对你的期望..
如果teacher不看好你,她连望
都不会多望你一眼..何况是骂你呢!
你看你...因为你的懒惰...
弄到大家都不开心..你过得去吗..
反省啦..你自己都知道的..
这些才艺是你的asset..
这些是你生命的1部分来的。
你不能也不可能会去放弃他们的。
你自己都曾经答应过自己..


人总有错的时候..
知错能改,善莫大焉..悬崖勒马..
最重要是..不要再重蹈覆侧..!
迷失了自己..也可以靠自己把迷失掉的自己
从深渊中拉回出来..



杜绝拜金主义• 不要虚荣心• 拒绝物质主义
找回原来的自己~给点信心自己~
姓韩的妖怪..! 韩絮飞..!
你一定能的..! 加油....!


=)

Saturday 12 February 2011

炒鱿鱼篇--贱格老板 [超长篇]

这篇文章含有粗俗字眼,可能会引起你的不安,请见谅!
因为,不用粗口,真的宣泄不了我的不满....!! 请多多包涵..!!
loading...... 3..2..1... scroll down to start..!


1月7日 -first working day.
1月31日-last working day.
期间休息了2天,在Alkama Gamemaster 工作了23天。
结果,被无情,恐怖,奸诈,样衰的狗老板炒掉了。
枉我之前大赞他- 超好人,靓仔,体贴~我呸!!!!
呕死…………what a JERK he is..! FUCK...!









其实,我很喜欢这份工。因为,我每天都可以笑~可以和很多人讲话~
因为我做sales的嘛~jam人jam到很开心,很爽~
从一开始的不安,不习惯,什么都不懂的一张白纸..
到慢慢开始习惯,有了少少成绩...
却被他一声不响地炒掉了~
最不甘愿的是,23天里面我抽到的commision...RM200++
一分钱都拿不到,原因是,我做不满1个月..commision 没我份..!!
WALAU A...!! 那我23天里面所卖的东西咩白费咯..! 白做咯...!! 吊你啦...!!
摆到明,欺负我咯...!!
他说我成绩很差,做了17天,才30分。成绩很不理想~
老板...!! 我是新人耶...! 毫无经验的叻..!! 30分都算不错了啦..!
还有,我那个档口真的超难做的..!! 就连 manager 出马,
陪我一起看档,也吃蛋..! ..0..
我问心无愧,我尽了力...! 我没有偷懒...! 你教我的功夫,我都有吸收..
我会的...! 只是时间,运气的问题...!
1月26日那天,你说你给我一次机会,6天要追24分...
31日前追不到就bye bye..众望所归... 我做不到..! 欠10分。
因为我让了一架jxd1000 给啊john,被啊kean抢了另一架jxd1000....
哈哈哈哈~有够笨!
同事们把我当成傻瓜,乱乱踢...我也不介意...
因为我一直都在扮嗮嘢..扮乖女..扮无知..做了22天一句粗口都没说过..够力!
但是到了last day,sorry咯.. 不能再忍了! 被人当人球乱乱踢,FINE..!
和啊peter 拍档,终于露出真面目...!
muahahahaha XD... 吓翻他...!! last day,都出了2部机...
但是commision却......haixzzz....













突然炒掉我,我很不习惯咯... 我还是很想念后面运动店
的auntie uncle,卖表的马来美女,楼上卖电话的啊勇哥哥,
digi 的靓仔,peter,啊john,伟健,
叮咚jie,啊zhu,掌厕所的mak cik
还有很多promoter..T.T..
失业了12天...
在家做量地官,蛀米大虫....!! 每天对着家里那4幅墙,我就快癫了....!
罪魁祸首都是那个fucking 贱格老板!
把我体内的沉睡已久的恐怖因子给唤醒了..!
社会是残酷的..! 太好人只会被人欺,太乖也会被人欺..!
对别人好就是对自己残忍吗...?? 商场如战场. 何止呢..?


我不甘愿... 我输给了自己...人家做到100分,为啥我就做不到~
真的是运气的问题吗..?? 我很用心地做这份工...每天都在反省..
喊到喉咙都沙哑..站到脚都断..还要受某些客人言语上的性骚扰..
我最害怕的东西,在这23天里..我都能克服到...就酱被你炒掉~
我不甘愿..!!!

我老爸说:这是政策。他们故意的。
我老友说: 早就应该踢爆唔捞啦~这份刻薄的工..!
我老死说: leave that hell。

但,我就是犯贱..! 我竟然跑回去求那个老板给我机会..
死不要脸..! 因为脸和钱之间,我选择了钱..!
一来,我习惯了那份工。我喜欢那份工。
二来,我不甘愿,我输得不明不白...不公平...!
三来,I NEVER GIVE UP....!!


过了12天的过渡期... 情绪平稳了。慢慢接受到了。
我被人炒了,拿出真心来做工,换来的只是
一堆绝情的冷言冷语。算吧~
也因为这样... 我从睡梦中醒了~社会是残酷的。
是我以前不敢面对这个事实。我以为,我对人好,人就会对我好。
哈哈哈..! 我太天真了!
也好啦,让我真正开始体验生活了。
上到了1堂珍贵的课..!

-出到了社会,被原谅是一种奢侈。
-机会是要自己争取的。
-出了什么事,不是要找靠山,而是要靠自己的真本领..!
-别太容易相信别人...! 靓仔都不可靠..! muahahahaha XD
因为我曾觉得我之前的狗老板蛮帅的...! O(∩_∩)O哈!






简得来说,我喜欢这份工作。我尽了力。我敬业,也乐业! ^_^
这篇长长的文章纯属吐苦水之作。
毫无中伤之意。我不会去唱衰他们,也不会憎恨他们。
跌倒了,要学会爬起来。我在这23天里,学到了很多。也突破了
自己一直害怕的死穴。muahahahahaha XD

我又变了..! 又长大了.

我会记得这份工作带给我的影响力。哈哈..!
唯1一张工作的照片 =)
主动 习惯 积极 快速 简单❤
5大宗旨。会save进我脑袋的!在生活上很管用!
不过,有些骂人的是必须说的:
u this SON OF BITCH, just get out from my life..!
Damn FUCKING bastard..! TO HELL U GO..! uurrrrggghhh...!
我原谅你,不再恨你..! 因为你不值得被我恨。可是,天有眼的。
我有良心,你没有。你会有报应的。哈哈哈哈...!

Tuesday 4 January 2011

我地哩班打工妹...hah...!! =D


我家的笨电脑~搞了很久才呕出这篇不堪入目的文章~来~预备备~
一阵狂笑 -muahahahahaha- :D
1月3日2011- 人家开学,我开工!!
原来有人肯请我叻~hehe~
ACS 隔壁的教堂幼稚园助教就是我也!! haha..!!
为人师表叻~O(∩_∩)O~
但是只是维持4天而已,因为另外1份薪金更为优厚的工作在等着我 ❤
哈哈哈~很衰叻我 !! 一脚就飞甩鸡毛,踢爆唔捞~
没办法啦,我不能和过不去的嘛~(*^__^*) ~

先说说那幼儿园:yorr ,范围超大!!
布置到超级美~还有个大草场~羡慕死我了~
Mickey mouse 粘到整间课室都是~
其实,讲真,幼儿园是个很恐怖的地方~~
到处都充满了‘可爱’的小朋友~
名副其实是 →恶魔的化身 o(╯□╰)o
第1天:开学天~ 哭包就有3个~ 哈哈 !! 记得14年前的我也是酱的~
的有10几个~哇~真的搞死我了~
乱跑乱跳乱跌倒~哈哈哈~笑死我了~
还有10几个是那种 diam diam 的~O(∩_∩)O~最喜欢他们的了!!
还有几个,hyperactive的,一刻都不能静下来,
..~汗~..teacher上,teacher下...头痛死了
他们跟我讲印度话,妈呀,我点知他们讲什么~
~圆的不能拿~他们也搞不懂我在讲什么~哈哈!!
幸好他们都还很乖,因为第1天嘛~人生地不熟 !!不方便露出真本性!! 哈哈~
第2天:来了来了,恐怖分子们都来了~终于露出真本性了~ 0.0~
今天班主任遇上车祸不能来上班,糟糕! 剩下我和另一位
年约50++ 的老师,对付一群约30人的妖魔鬼怪班这
可怕的mission 就交给我们啦~惨!!
小孩子,看风使舵的本领一流!! 会看人来欺负的~yor!
发现班主任不在后,皮就开始痒了~
作弄隔壁同学,抢玩具,丢笔丢橡皮,乱乱跑....
幼儿园十大禁条样样来~弄到我团团转~ 真的有够力!
更厉害的是,我带男生去男厕,他问我:老师,要怎样小便..??
walao..我没有你那个小鸡鸡嘢~我哪里会?? HELP!! hahahaha..!
然后,带10几个女生去厕所,秩序大乱.. 有得去toilet,她们特别high! =D
到最后,临放学... 才是高潮! 群魔乱舞!
场面混乱~眼花缭乱~乱七八糟~
总之就是:乱,
才两天,我就已经投降了~
累死,喉咙破掉,那些小瓜只会对着你笑~
哈哈哈哈!! 还小嘛~ 可以被原谅的~
老师,尤其是教导小孩子的其实是很厉害的~
-服- 一字送给你们~一群妖怪你们都有本事handle~
PRO!!
累积了10几年的爱心,在这4天就用完的啦!!
小孩子~yerrr.... 别搞我,怕了...
可爱后面隐藏着可怕~怕怕~哈哈!
!
小瓜们!! 加油!! 老师们!! 加油 !!!